i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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