I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
