sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize