How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
