I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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