You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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