She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
