I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Shame - the story of my life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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