FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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