He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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