I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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