my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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