the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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