Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
