They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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