Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
