Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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