You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
