Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
