Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize