every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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