there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
