Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
