my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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