you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
