He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
