ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Dick very happy bro
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
