i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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