Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
