Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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