i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
