he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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