Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
