Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
don't judge my taste in strippers
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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