I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize