one two three fourrrrnication!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
