Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you would pick up someone in the library
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
