Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
