Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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