Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Girls should come with a carfax report
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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