So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
