I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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