so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need to calm my uterus...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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