if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
