everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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