ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
honey bunches of taint.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
