So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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