I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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