420 ftw
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
