So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
