i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize