You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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