Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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