I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
