Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
