I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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