I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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