that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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