I think im going to throw up on grandma
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
